I Am Having A Time.
Life is kicking my ass right now. I am in the grey area. I have so many things to do but no energy to do them. Executive function at an all time low. Let me tell you off the top of my head all of the things currently on my plate and how I am handling them. I have to find a new job because the new management at my bar is running the bar into the fucking ground. I turned down 2 jobs right before this happened because I like my bar. The rest of the context there is a story for after I quit. It is in the 100s outside and my car has no air conditioning. Getting another bar job requires showing up in person to other bars not covered in sweat and ready to have a conversation. Also I don’t drink or go out so it is hard to know what bars are cool and good or would be a seemingly nice place to work. I need to work on my stone for school. I haven’t touched it once this summer. I was supposed to be working on it all summer. I have not let myself go in because there is a jewelry commission for a dear friend that I am being paid for that I have to finish first. All of my available time and creative energy needs to go into that. I have broken tools, melted the thing twice, and yesterday when I Finally went to start the stone setting process, my stones didn’t fit. Despite being the exact size of the settings. [eye is twitching] At this time I emailed my stone supplier for a new order, however it was 5:30pm on a Friday in Idaho. My stone supplier is in New Jersey. I will not even hear back from him until Monday. I don’t even know if he can get me smaller stones. The first set was already tiny. I need to order an eyepiece to set these now. This one I am straight embarrassed about. It is an important piece of jewelry! I have to get it to him. I haven’t been to the gym in nearly a month. It only feels like it’s been 2 weeks. I never know what day it is anymore. I only know it’s been almost a month because I keep a log and my last workout was June 16. My quarterly reporting of sales tax is very late and I hate ******* because I don’t even have anything to file. I didn’t collect any sales tax. Why do I have to report $0 in sales. That is so dumb. I keep having to take off work too. July is always busy. First the 4th weekend, then the Bonelord first show ever yesterday, then June’s spaying day on the 22nd, then so many plans I’ve agreed to. Cam and Lexy’s birthdays on the 17th and 18th. Mine on the 30th. Poker night the 17th, work the 18th & 19th. June’s spaying on the 22nd. And then round the clock paying attention to her for the following 80 hours. Dinner for Lexy & my birthdays at some point this month. Ideally 2 outings for my birthday if I possess the holy trinity. Time, Energy, and Money. Who is the fourth horseman of that apocalypse. I need to also make time to take better care of myself. I need to cook more. And then I have to factor in the time of cleaning the kitchen after. So many people are going to be in / at my house. So it has to stay tidy. Have to find time to clean it. Would love to read a book. Sit in the pool maybe. That’s all I’ve got for now.
九生 